Beginning a Spiritual Practice: 5 Beginning Steps to Finding Your Purpose in Life
What matters … is the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
– Viktor Frankl
Karen Armstrong wrote, “We are meaning seeking creatures.” There is something in our nature that as far as we know is unique to the human animal—our need to create and live a life imbued with some sense of meaning beyond daily survival, the purpose in life. Probably we have sought answers to many philosophical questions since the beginning of our existence, and we have evidence of practices, such as early burial sites long before the first cities, which indicate a sense of beginning questioning of the beyond and what it might mean.
There are four fundamental questions we have asked, and will continue to ask: Who am I? Why am I here? Where did I come from? And, where am I going? Of course, we also extend these questions to the group, family, tribe and cultures in which we live: Why are we here? And so on. These are the beginnings of philosophical inquiry that lead to the creation of whole mythologies, religions, philosophy and ethics, law, government, individual and national identity, all of the various arts and literature. We create such seemingly non-essential things that don’t immediately feed, house or clothe us, because without them survival alone would feel flat and empty: “It is difficult to get the news from poems / yet men die miserably every day / for lack of what is found there.” — William Carlos Williams
If you have yet to have had the luxury of time to consider such questions, you may ask, why bother? A practical question. But there will be times in all of our lives that plummet us into spirals of such tangled questions that we feel quite lost: major transitions of life from childhood to adulthood, then to middle age; a life event, either positive or negative, such as a wedding, birth of a child or the death of a loved one; facing great illness or financial hardships. Any of these and countless others can send us reeling into Nietzsche’s abyss, grasping for ropes in the dark that might halt our fall.
But you needn’t wait for such events to begin your search for meaning. As Joseph Campbell taught, there’s no point in waiting for the eternal of the afterlife—if you don’t get it here, you won’t get it there. Eternity is not some long-off distant time from now—eternity is this moment, right now. You are in the middle of it. Consider how you listen to music. You don’t hear the whole song, symphony or opera all at once, you hear a singular moment, and then another, and another. Each of these moments, like a point on a number line, is itself eternity. Don’t waste those points in what we perceive as time waiting for some later revelation or resting place. Find the meaning in the moment where you are right now, reading, breathing, feeling and thinking. This is eternity.
You needn’t know a lot about world religions or esoteric spiritual practices to gain a sense of meaning in your life. You need only begin to ask questions and practice what many eastern teachings call mindfulness—but mindfulness is the basis for all spiritual practice in every culture. If you begin with a few simple steps for now, you may be surprised by the changes you see and feel, large and small.
1. Find a Space.
The first step is purely practical. Begin by finding or creating a space for yourself that is removed from the noisy distractions of everyday life. It could be indoors or out, but it should be devoted to the singular purpose of being comfortable for creating a physical and soulful space where you feel most grounded and at home. No matter your particular belief of origin, or if you have never been religious, such a space can supplement and enhance our feeling of connection to the pursuit of the meaningful.
2. Construct an Altar.
Though this may seem on the verge of esoteric magical practice, every world tradition finds it useful to have a place, simple or elaborate, on which to place objects of remembrance and devotion, or simply of the beauty of nature as meditative focal points. These are not in any way anathema to any religious practice, quite the opposite. Many devout believers of many faiths have some place in their homes devoted to religious iconography, special mementos, etc., that are central to prayers. But even if you consider yourself largely non-religious, having a place to collect a few objects is often useful for the development of mindfulness practice and meditation. A small table, box or raised shelf with a lovely cloth is enough for the base. The objects you decide to collect may be as simple as things found in nature such as a beautiful stone, feather, or shell, or as elaborate and crafted as a figurine of a goddess from a culture you admire, or small personal objects that remind you of a loved one. You may add to your altar anything you feel connected to that gives your life meaning. The addition of candles, incense, a small cup or bowl for water used in blessings—any of these can be integrated as you investigate different practices that might work for you from a variety of cultures. Many world cultures practice meditation, blessings for the home, themselves and their families, etc., with the incorporation of natural elements.
3. Center Yourself.
As you begin any kind of spiritual practice, try not to judge yourself or force anything to happen. At the beginning, the goal is to simply give yourself the time and space to hear yourself think and feel. Living in a chaotic world can be exciting and invigorating, but it can also be overwhelming at times. It can produce stress in the mind, body and soul that manifests in a variety of physical and emotional symptoms such as depression, headaches, backaches, anger or anxiety. To calm the mind and body, in addition to good general self-care, such as eating and sleeping well and finding a good physical activity to ground us in the body, meditation and spiritual practice can help relieve stress, help us discover answers to difficult questions, help us connect to greater purpose and find a center out of which all else flows. Try to allow yourself just 10-20 minutes a day devoted to finding your inner center. Sit comfortably in front of your altar and quiet your mind. If you are feeling stressed physically, some non-verbal music in the background might help. Don’t force it. You will discover as you still your mind and breathing what you are looking for. Let your mind wander for now; there will be time to develop deeper meditative practices that focus your attention on a singular point later.
4. Cultivate Inquiry.
As you continue your beginning daily practice, listen for questions and feelings that arise. When you finish your sessions at first, try to write about what came up for you in a journal. These need not be lengthy entries, though they certainly can be; but at least try to capture the experience in a few sentences. Describe any images, symbols, people or places that came to you in your imagination and write about what they presented and how you reacted. Would you have liked the image to stay longer to learn more from it? If so, write about it. Was there anything that came up that you wished had not? Write about that, too. There is a practice of what is called dream tending that incorporates the teachings of Carl Jung which is useful for both the reflection on dreams we have while sleeping, as well as images that come to us in prayer and meditation. Such images come to us from our personal or the collective unconscious. They want to communicate something of value that we need to pay attention to. These can become the source images for art. As you begin collecting such images and your physical and emotional responses to them, it might be useful to investigate some of the world’s cultures to see which practices, on a more enhanced level, might work for you.
You may continue developing your current religious practice in which you were originally indoctrinated, or you may decide to research cultures from all over the globe to find wisdom in their teachings, or you may wish to combine the two. We need not convert to a particular religion to learn a few of the great ideas contained within them. Once you begin such investigation, you will be able to recognize some universal truths that are inherent to them all—that we must all learn how to treat each other with love and kindness, we should learn how to cultivate gratitude in our hearts for others and life itself, that we are connected to each other and to all of nature and that we are responsible to more than our own self-interests. There are many such lessons that can help us feel connected and purposeful in our lives—that will help us find meaning. The goal in reading and investigating what cultures from different times and places have to offer will allow us to develop our own personal mythology, as Campbell says, a myth we can live by.
5. Put it into Practice.
As you continue to learn what the world of ideas and spiritual practice has to offer you, be sure you also allow for growth. Growth in nature never happens in straight lines, but in spirals, on higher and lower levels. This business of trying to find meaning may be challenging, bringing up difficult questions and emotions; but if you allow for the difficulty, working through them and learning from them, you will strengthen your ability and become more self-aware. You will learn what you value, what is most important to you and how to purposefully devote what time you do have to worthwhile things. It is so easy to be consumed by the frivolous these days—but time is precious. Learning how best to spend what time we have is essential. That doesn’t mean it won’t be difficult. But better to be connected, feeling vital and involved, than constantly distracted, isolated, numb, or worse, depressed. To dig deep within and listen to ourselves is a great gift. You can then learn how to give of yourself to those around you and to the world. Through centering yourself, giving yourself time and space, learning from other traditions and beliefs, you will gradually develop your own practice of clearing your mind and finding that which is most important to you. You may or may not have a particular deity to whom you pray, but life itself is a wonder and you are a part of it. Don’t let such wonders float away on the whirlwinds of distraction of modern life. They are far too precious. Learn how to recognize them within yourself, in others, in the world. The divine spark is within everything. Love it. Love it in the world, in those around you, in yourself.